A Fake Star Wars Celebration Episode VII Trailer Description is Being Spread Around…

With Star Wars Celebration in Anaheim being just about a month and a half away, it’s about time we start seeing fake trailer descriptions floating around to fool people. This latest one is actually pretty old, but it’s starting to go viral this week and it’s time to squash it like the fake it is.

It originated last December, shortly after the first teaser hit, with someone claiming these scenes are in a longer trailer. They aren’t. In fact, these scenes were never even shot for the movie:

“The Carousel”
Desert planet, presumably Tatooine. Daisy, Oscar, Jon, Chewie and Han, escaping to the MF in a shoot-out with Stormtroopers. It’s basically an echo of the ANH scene, very similar looking “landing bay”. Boyega is wearing a robe over his Stormtrooper armour. Something is implied to be broken in MF, Chewbacca is sitting on top of the starship trying to repair it, blaster shots are barely missing him, he groans. Han stands on the ramp and comments on John’s inability to aim, >Aren’t you supposed to be the best shots in the galaxy, kid?<. Oscar Isaac and Daisy are inside of the ship playing with all the buttons & switches trying to start the engine. Lots of cutting between inside and outside of the ship, very dynamic editing. Suddenly the lights in the cockpit light up, Oscar touches something off screen and we hear that the engine is turning on, Chewbaca roars and enters the ship, Han goes inside nonchalantly, John jumps just as MF starts to hover over the ground and slowly rotate. Blaster shots all over the place. Then there’s a wide static shot mirroring the escape scene from ANH as MF flies away. “The Trader” A space station built into an asteroid. Establishing shot, MF approaches the landing pad, very static and “old school” looking shots. Space station’s interior is a cave with metal structures, green vegetation and neon lights, very interesting aesthetically, very western-like. All kinds of shady types walking around. John gets distracted seeing a hologram showing a bounty put on his head, he tries to put his helmet on (presumable to hide his identity?) but Han stops him and comments that >people here are more fond of criminals than imperials<. They go to some kind of workshop, lots of electronic pieces laying around. The trader is a hairy snake-man, he looks humanoid except for he has no legs. The trader speaks with a very clear Russian accent. It’s implied that Han owes him some money, but he’s willing to help the heroes to get some part they’re looking for (I think?). The sequence ends showing a masked creature eavesdropping on heroes


Want to know how this is fake? MakingStarWars actually just posted a description of how Rey and Finn get off the desert planet, and Poe, Han, and Chewie have nothing to do with it. The Falcon is involved though:

Some time after they escape the brig, Poe goes his own way and Finn wanders into the desert town. There’s Stormtroopers there. Finn and Rey take the Falcon to evade them. It is said the Falcon is “swallowed” by the giant freighter once they get to space.

Han isn’t on the desert planet, neither is Chewie. Rey and Finn steal the Falcon (the scene in the teaser trailer) and then end up on a Giant Freighter where they meet Han. It isn’t a space station built into an asteroid.

We’ll see a whole lot more of these fake descriptions before Celebration hits in April. Thankfully our friends over at MakingStarWars.net have the documentation to help tell what’s fake and what’s not.

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