10 Things Wrong With Star Trek Into Darkness

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Star Trek Into Darkness is currently streaming on Netflix and showing on cable with a special edition Blu-Ray release on the way, and while some people are enjoying an action movie pretending to be Star Trek; others are seeing the numerous problems the dumb script of the movie produced. Where Star Trek 2009 got away with a lot of stuff thanks to a better script, the dumbness of Into Darkness really jumps out at you. Here are just ten things that are wrong with the movie…

Khan

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Ever since Abrams and the cast swore up and down that Benedict Cumberbatch was playing “John Harrison”, everyone knew they were lying. The earliest rumors of the sequel pointed to Khan; especially when the filmmakers hoped to have cast Benicio del Toro in the role. That didn’t happen, so instead Khan is a white British dude when he is supposed to be Indian. Nero travelling back in time 300 years after Khan was frozen doesn’t magically make him white while he’s in cryo sleep. But the worst thing about Khan was they turned him into a lapdog who could easily be blackmailed by a weak human. The original Khan was a focused genius, but also an extremely evil genetically engineered genocidal superman and would have never allowed a non-eugenic to order him around.

Ripping Off The Wrath of Khan Ending

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This could be covered in its own feature, but re-doing the Wrath of Khan ending with the Kirk/Spock roles reversed simply does not work in this rebooted universe. Audiences have not had the time to connect to these characters to give the sacrifice any sort of impact, which makes the entire attempt to retread the ending more insulting. They’re pissing on the best Star Trek movie with a movie that really isn’t Star Trek. It tarnishes both the name of the franchise and the legacy of the original movie for them to do it this way. And Spock yelling “KHAAAAAN!” just was the icing on the poop.

Magical Khan Blood

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Of course the writers of this disappointment didn’t want to make Star Trek III: The Search for Kirk, so they had to figure out a way to bring Kirk back to life really quick. How about Khan’s blood being magical and having the power to bring people back to life? It’s as stupid as it sounds, and the way it’s used in the movie to quickly wrap everything up in a nice happy bow is even dumber. Even worse, the crew is stupid when it comes down to it. With 72 members of Khan’s crew right there in sickbay laying next to McCoy, there was no reason for a big green-screen chase scene to bring Khan back.

Timeline WTF?

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The rebooted Abramsverse movies take place in 2259. In the movie, McCoy mentions that Khan was frozen for 300 years. That means the Eugenics Wars and Khan’s uprising would have taken place in the 1950s. Again, Nero came back in time long after that and his destroying the Kelvin would not have affected events that happened centuries before that. Based on this movie, we had the ability to create genetically engineered supermen, cryo freeze them, and send them into space on a ship before the first Apollo mission.

Khan Transporting Himself from Earth to Qo’noS (NOT Kronos)

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Have these people ever seen Star Trek? Obviously not. That’s why it took only a couple of minutes to go from Earth to Vulcan at warp in the first movie, and now you don’t even need a starship anymore because you can just teleport yourself all the way across the galaxy from Earth to the Klingon homeworld of Qo’noS. Yes Kurtzman, Orci, and Lindelof; it’s “Qo’noS”. It’s pronounced “Kronos”, but it isn’t spelled that way yet they spell it that way in the movie. NOTE: I am aware that Damon Bok used a subspace transporter in the 24th century, but like the Eagles in LOTR, it’s a narrative tool that is wisely ignored as it would eliminate the need for starships.