10 Useless Final Fantasy Characters

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RPGamers of every generation have had their hand in at least one installment of the Final Fantasy franchise. Whether you love it, hate it, or disagree with what direction the series has taken; you have at least one character which has frustrated you from time to time. Each  has one character or class so ineffective that players avoid using them altogether. These are some of the characters we’d like to forget, but couldn’t even if XIII’s salvation depended on it.

Thief (Final Fantasy)

With second-rate weapons, poor defense, and no skills to offer, the thief is an unwelcome addition to the first installment. He couldn’t even steal as his namesake implied for Chocobo’s sake!

Edward, the Spoony Bard (Final Fantasy IV)

When your only means of attack are singing and “hiding” when the going gets tough, something tells us that saving the kingdom isn’t your higher calling.

Gau (Final Fantasy VI)

A cross between a berzerker and a blue mage, this wild child could imitate the abilities of “tamed” monsters. The problem is, a lot of the monsters weren’t all too strong in the game and his performance depended on a lot of time and devotion spent in the Veldt. Sorry, but we’d much rather level crunch than wander in an area solely for one character’s benefit.

Umaro (Final Fantasy VI)

As a “chibi,” he looks like a viscous Hello Kitty character. His actual performance reflects his appearance. True, he has some of the strongest physical stats in the game, but as a berzerker, it’s impossible to get him to do anything that you want. In that regard, if you equip him with the Blizzard Orb while fighting a monster which absorbs ice spells, then he becomes a hindrance rather than an asset. Add the fact that he’s the least customizable character without the aid of neither magic nor armor and you have someone who doesn’t even make a good supporting ally.

Gogo (Final Fantasy VI)

A relative pain in the ass to acquire depending on your level, his/her abilities were equally as questionable as his back story. Don’t tell us that he was great if you got him to mimic the right attacks. Your not useful as a stand alone character if your entire being is dependent on those around you.

Relm Arrowny (Final Fanasy VI)

This hentai fan fiction fodder had practically nothing to offer on the field of battle. Her sketch ability rarely worked, and when it did, it usually reflected a menial attack back at the enemy. Her one saving grace is that she had some of the highest magic stats in the game, but that’s only useful if she could cast a spell before an enemy killed her.

Cait Sith (Final Fantasy VII)

It’s hard to take this animatronic stuffed animal seriously in the dismal world of Gaia. His appearance alone makes him look more at home in Pokémon more than anything else. Couple that with the fact that his stats are subpar and his limit break is unpredictable and you have a character easily ignored after one play through.

Irvine Kinneas (Final Fantasy VIII)

It’s difficult to select an even remotely preferable character in this overhyped sequel. The love child of Ennis del Mar and Vincent Valentine has to take the cake. Couple his stats with a rigid and incomprehensible “junction system” with that of an equally powerless Limit Break and your left with little to desire.

Quina Quen (Final Fantasy IX)

We’re going to ignore our knee-jerk question as to what exactly is that thing and get right to the punch. Quina eats…and that’s it. Apologists will jump at defending her along the grounds that she can have one of the strongest attacks if you have hours and hours of time at your disposal, but there’s more to life than just Final Fantasy.

Kimahri (Final Fantasy X)

At first glance, you’d expect this hulking furry to be one of the strongest warriors in the game. It’s not so much the case after one use. While Rikku, Tidus, and even Wakka each have advantages in piercing an enemy’s defense’s, Kimahri has none. Don’t use the defense that it’s possible for him to attain Ultima early on in the game, especially since it requires a Level 4 node to acquire.